How I lost my virginity (A mistake by a woman)

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                   Losing virginity

   A story mistake by a woman
      Written by --BK Jamatia
     Hi, I am  27 years a housewife. I am going to share by a story a big mistake by me losing virginity when I was in class --XI. I fell in love with a handsome class XII student. He is so handsome that all my girlfriends praised his tall figure, face structure, attractive eyes and his lovely smile. One day, suddenly he proposed me. Actually, I did not want to do love with anyone before the completion of my study. Because I feared it might hamper my study. But I could not deny his proposal, the guy whom most of the girls were crazy of him proposed me. So I considered myself as a lucky girl. I accepted his proposal.
     He always looked for a chance to meet me alone. But I did not understand him. Ultimately, I understood that he expected sex which I did not like. He expected sex on every date. It made me think that I should fulfil his desire. Because in modern world purity and chastity seems out of fashion. Girls see sex as the ultimate fulfilment of their relationship with guys. Sexually active guys were considered “winners” and sexually active girls are called “experienced.” On the other hand, someone who saves his or her virginity for marriage is taken to be a prude, sexually incapable. However, the reality is completely the opposite. I understood it later.
     After 3/4 months, I could feel that he was not in love with me. But I didn't want to leave him at any cost. So I slept with that guy in order to make a guy or encourage him to stay with me. I lost my virginity at the age of 17 for the following reasons---

1. I had sex with that guy because I was trying to find love, to find self--worth.
2. I thought sex would bring us closer together.
3. I assumed our relationship would last forever.
4. He would be mine forever.
5. I was not ready to bear the humiliation that I might have after break up.

    But I realised my mistake after losing virginity. Because it caused me tension. I did not realise the purity, hope, and forgiveness that I could find in the Bible. It caused me tension because of the dishonesty. Generally, our parents prefer their unmarried children to live a life of sexual continence. If they know their daughter is sexually active without being married, what will happen--it made my stress grow.
    I tried in every possible way to hold my first love. But after 9 months of our relationship, he left me. I have no words to express what happened to me at that time. It's very difficult to overcome it, but I did. Then I  started pursuing my career with full concentration. I completed graduation in time.

‌      I got married to a nice carrying husband. It was an arranged marriage. He loves me very much. My mother-in-law, father -in -law all are very nice. My husband always tells me no secret should be hidden in our deep relation of trust. But I can't tell him that I was not a virgin. There will always be a gap between our relationship.

‌Thank you

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