Pre-marriage Consultation(A mistake story)

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Importance of pre-marriage consultation. 

     I am Dayal, 38 years old, a government school teacher. Please read my mistake story. I don't want you to repeat my mistake. I got a job at the age of 27. My parents were in a hurry to get me married. My parents, relatives and friends were looking for a girl for me.

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      I had seen three girls but I rejected them because I came to know that each of them had a love affair before. Actually, I wanted a virgin girl. She should not have an affair with some one.
 
      I got news of a 21 years old girl who is the only child of her parents. Her father is a government employee and mother house wife. We went to see her at their place. She is beautiful. Generally I judge the girls highly on looks. I do not look for their qualities. So I got married to her with the full consent of both parties.

My personal character

      I am a teacher. So I always take care of my character. Because I believe —"If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me". I avoid quarrelling, argument, debate etc in my life. I like simplicity. I do not get angry fast but if I get angry, I can not control my anger. I have seen many people getting angry at every little thing. But I am not like that. Sometimes I take a drink with my friends but not regularly, three to four times in a month. Because I think —"Entertainment is required in our life. Man is a social animal ". So we have to spend our little time with our friends, relatives and neighbours.

My wife's character
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 She is the only girl child of her parents. Generally, only children receive excessive attention. Due to the absence of siblings, they become selfish, demanding, dependent and moody in comparison to children with siblings. So my wife is also a stubborn character. She works domestic works as per her wish. No one can tell or order her anything.

  In my in-law's house, they have a maid servant who works everything for them. So my wife is accustom to ordering others. But we have no servant. I have one brother and two sisters, I am the third child of my father. Both my sisters got married and went to their in-laws house. And my elder brother live in the town for job purpose. My parents live with us in the village. My wife could not give up her habit of ordering others to get her required things. We don't have a servant, so she began to command me. In the beginning, she was reluctant to order me but slowly and slowly she was pointing me. On the other hand, if I order her to get something, she did it unwillingly. It hurt me a little but I tolerated because I wanted a peaceful environment in my house. And my wife is very fond of jewellery. She used to take me jewellery shopping. She loved to get her ornaments molded into some new piece. I have been fulfilling her demands because according to me "True happiness for a woman comes from her family". Actually, I don't want a woman who treats her husband like a king.

      My wife does not like me to spend time gossiping with my friends in our local shop. But I like to remain with the people. She gets angry very quickly. When I drank with my friends, her anger rose.

     She gave birth to a baby son. The birth of my son brought me eternal happiness. Words can not describe how much I was happy becoming a father. After my son's birth, my responsibility increased and my wife's habit of getting the work done by others also increased.
 
       It is a joy to see my son grow day by day, and it feels good to see him after a long work day. The way he responds when I call his name and the different facial expressions that he makes helps to take away all the stress and worries of the day. 

        I admitted my son in the nursery school at his age of 3 years 4 months. One day I was doing a party with my friends at one of my friend 's house. At that time my father was not at home. He went to my uncle' s house. My mother was sleeping at her room. I wanted to come home fast but my friends insisted me to stay a little longer. So I was delaying to come back home. Suddenly my wife appeared there at around 9:50 pm and started beating me in front of my friends. She pulled me catching my hair, she kicked me. I felt shy. I couldn't understand what to do. I was just laughing but my anger was burning inside. I couldn't control my temper. Coming to home, I started beating my wife severely. She shouted for help, my mother woke up and some of our neighbours came and stopped me. She suffered injuries and my mother and neighbours took her to the hospital at night. Without going to the doctor, I went to sleep as I was drunk. In the next morning, I realised my mistake and went to the hospital. Her mother and relatives came there. Her uncle tried to attack me in the hospital but my mother-in-law prevented him. The people gathered there and came to know the matter. What a shame for me being a teacher. I apologised my wife. She was discharged in the morning as she suffered a little injury.
 
     I bought one kilogram of apple for her. My mother-in-law came along with her daughter. She knows her daughter well. She made her understand.

 Now we live a normal life. But my reputation is ruined. I might be known to the society a wife-beating husband. It is very difficult to rebuild my reputation.
     She is born aggressive. But I have decided to compromise everything.

   Picking the right wife is utmost importance. Marriage is a life- long commitment and requires a great deal of forethought. Getting married without a plan and without any forethought is a terrible decision. 
  
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